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Now That's What I Call Coaching 7 - Fear of Being Different & Being Our Best Self

Sleeve Notes

Can we be the truest & best version of ourselves all of the time with other people?

The reality is probably not.


What can get in the way is what we believe society expects of us, the unrealistic expectations we have put on ourselves and things that influence us from what we see on Social Media & life in general.


I believe I manage to be my best self most of the time, but there are times when I've caught myself being someone I'm not because I deemed it to be what the other person/situation needed, even though this wasn't factual.


In my head it was and still is to a small extent, my occasional fear of being different.

When the 'fear' catches me though, I get frustrated with myself for giving in to it.

Nilesh Saini sums up perfectly F.O.B.D. here.


Perhaps I need to remind myself of some of the benefits and tips of being the best version of one's self, below!




Side 1 - Benefits of Being Your Best Self


  • You are trusted & you trust yourself.

  • You are consistent & true.

  • You like yourself.

  • You are confident.

  • You'll attract confidence.

  • You surround yourself with people who really matter to you.

  • You'll have more energy. (It takes effort to be someone you're not)

  • You'll be more productive.

  • You'll remember all those dreams and plans you had for yourself and act on them.

  • There is no one else like you.



Side 2 - Tips for being your best self


  • I've said it before, be grateful for what you have, however small.

  • Find happiness with the simple things in life.

  • Be around people who enrich your life.

  • Remind yourself what you do well.

  • Ask those close to you what you do well - When was the last time you did that? (Perhaps ask them to send their thoughts to you so you can reference them when having self doubt.)

  • Find the right balance between time for yourself and being connected to others (We need both.)

  • Step away from your digital world and take a look at what & who is around you.

  • Think about what you can do rather than what you can't and turn it into 'I will".

  • Clean or fix something, make your environment work better for you.

  • Be forgiving of yourself and others.

  • If you are beating yourself up today, let yourself off the hook tomorrow.



Side 3 - Hits

I will Coach myself healthier by questioning myself and researching, e.g.


  • What will I do to sleep better?

  • How will I make exercising & stretching out, part of my day?

  • I will research & practice mindful eating, e.g. eating things that will keep me happy, healthy & productive, while still indulging in a treat or two now and again.

  • I'll research some breathing techniques to help me manage tough times.


Side 4 - One Hit Wonders


"I need to behave a certain way to engage this person"


Challenge

Who are you trying to be?


How do you know that is what the other person wants?


What does this say about you?


When will you tell them what you need from this conversation?


"My feeling is no one will want to hear what I have to say"


Challenge

What specifically has brought you to this conclusion?


How will you know what is true until you present your case?


What are the facts of the situation?


What do you want to say that is important for others to know?


How will you make sure you get airtime for what you want to say?


What have you prepared that's both compelling & engaging?


What do you want from your audience?


"I'm not good enough"


Challenge

Explain what you mean?


Who is telling you this?


How are these thoughts helping you?


When did you last ask people you trust what your strengths/skills/qualities are?


When did you last use these strengths/skills qualities?


What have you got influence & control over?


Describe the strengths/skills and qualities you have and write them down under the heading 'I'm Good Enough At...'


The Download

Being your best version, starts with treating yourself with the same genuine respect & kindness you would afford others.

Your best version also forgives and shows empathy toward yourself and others.

When you have a bad day, manage yourself with patience and understanding, knowing that tomorrow is another day and another opportunity to take what you have learnt from yesterday and use it for the benefit of yourself and others.







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