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Now That's What I Call Coaching 6 - Conflict Resolution

Updated: Mar 14

Sleeve Notes

When the word conflict is used, it typically elicits a negative feeling.

How about seeing conflict as an opportunity, (and a good one at that!) to prevent, resolve and/or repair situations rather than watching it escalate further or worse create misunderstandings that go on for years and years.





Side 1 - Benefits

Helps to enhance your...

  • Self awareness

  • Empathy

  • Listening skills

  • Negotiation skills

  • Ability to compromise

  • Flexibility

  • Adaptability

  • Relationships (Healthy)


Helps to decrease...

  • Resentment

  • Bitterness

  • Anger

  • Fear

  • Worry

  • Anxiety

  • Stress

  • Procrastination

  • Destruction (Unhealthy)



Side 2 - Tips


  • Be prepared - Make a plan of what you want to say, how you want to say it and when you want to say it.

  • Talk about the issue when it arises - don't hold on to it. (Resentment and bitterness are not good looks!)

  • Keep your emotions in check. (You can still say how you feel in a balanced way)

  • Say what you need to say. (Fact based of course!)

  • Acknowledge your part in the conflict.

  • Show you are listening - playback what you've heard, show empathy and understanding to their point of view.

  • Be prepared to acknowledge criticism, especially if the respondent feels personally impacted with what you have said.

  • Don't be afraid to rewind and start again if it's not going well.

  • Look for compromises, things that you have in common and actions that will help you both move forward.



Side 3 - Hits


  • "Before I talk, I will make sure I have a complete understanding of their point of view, how they came to this decision, what is important to them, their motivations etc. This will form an accurate view of the situation and help me ask relevant questions"

  • "I will share or ask what I could have done differently to build trust & understanding on both sides. I'm part of this too."

  • "I won't just assume that everything is OK once we have spoken, we may need to have further discussions to continue improving the situation. I'm keen to keep the dialogue open"



Side 4 - One Hit Wonders


'I don't like conflict'


Challenge

What have you done to gain understanding of the situation from the other party's perspective?


What will happen to you and those involved if you leave it?


What would it be like to live without this conflict?


Describe the health benefits of resolving conflict for you and those involved.


Facts are facts, what are you fearful of?


What is the first manageable step you can take to reduce your fear?


'It will go away with time'


Challenge

How do you know this?


How would the others involved feel about this statement?


What will stop you procrastinating & take action?


'As long as I come away with the result I want...'


Challenge

What is the best result for both parties?


What are you prepared to compromise if you don't get the result you want?


How will you continue to monitor the situation, no matter the outcome?



The Download

We all have biases as to what we believe to be fair & right.

When we enter conflict resolution before it escalates, becomes emotional, threat based & provocative, we have the opportunity to set aside those biases and focus on what is true for both parties.


Listening to the other party's point of view & what is important to them will help you to understand their position. It will demonstrate you are listening & building trust by playing back what you've heard, then asking relevant questions to find out more.


Being honest & factual about your part in the conflict, how you will take action, the personal impact it has had and saying what you would like going forward will help others to understand your position.


Bonus Tracks...

  • Facts are facts, so you are on solid ground.

  • Compromise, adaptability & flexibility without giving away everything are healthy traits in conflict resolution.

  • Conflict resolution is a positive thing, it shows you care and want to make things better for all before it gets out of hand.





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