Sleeve Notes
Influencer - one of the words of our time.
What can we learn about ourselves through how we choose to influence others.
As with many things, it's good to have a balance of influencing styles.
An example of the balance, being challenge and accountability alongside empathy and openness.
Sometimes though, we can overdo our preferred influencing style and then watch as the recipient/s of this switch off!
Side 1 - Push it, Push it real good
Traits - Persuasive, Assertive
Things they say - I propose, I suggest, I recommend, I disagree because, I want, I expect, I need, I don't like, I'm pleased.
Tone - Precise, firm, unemotional, direct, rational, calm, reasonable, strong, firm, clear, direct, insistent, demanding, data driven.
On it's own, good for - Instigating change, people who need the 'bottom line', to provide evidence, legislative processes, demonstrating your expertise, compliance, short term relationships, time sensitive, clarity when there is no room for manoeuvre.
Side 2 - Push it, Push it not so good!
Start overdoing your 'Push' style, and turn into a dictator!
Putting others down
Attacking others
Ignoring others
Become a complete narcissist
Driven by your own agenda, what's only good for you.
Side 3 - Pull up to the bumper
Traits
Collaborative, Energising
Things they say
What do you think?, How do you feel about?, What are your thoughts on?, Help me to understand. Let me play what you've said, back to you. I believe, together we can, Imagine if..., I can see...
Tone
Relaxed, Open, Concerned, Inviting, Mirroring, upbeat, enthusiastic, positive, engaging, expressive, fun, energetic, attentive, curious.
On it's own, good for
Consensus, buy in by keeping the relationship intact, when the influencing situation impacts the people involved, when you need others help and support, creating change, conceptual thinking, vision without the detail, lifting the mood of those you are influencing.
Understanding others through listening and questioning.
Side 4 - Pull up to the bumper, crash and burn!
Start overdoing your pull style and turn into a shadow of your former self!
Putting yourself down
Avoiding what's important
Giving in, to only suit others
Trying to make a difference when the decision has already been made
Bonus coaching tracks
When influencing others, think about it from your perspective and their perspective, so you can readily answer any concerns with valid reasoning, for example...
Why do I/would you want to do this?
Why is it important to me/you?
What will happen if I/we don't do this?
What is negotiable/non negotiable?
The Download
There are close links between Influencing and motivation.
Consider the balance of push and pull techniques from sides 1 & 2 above that you can use in the future that could appeal to the person being influenced.
If it's not working, be open and flexible enough to adapt your style and work together to find a solution.
Bear in mind though, a few situations will require one or the other. Choose wisely!
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