Change is happening all around us, all of the time. We may or may not like change or even realise it's going on, but we can’t stop it.
‘We need to change to grow’
‘We’re just doing this for change sake’
‘I can’t believe that just happened'
Whatever the reason for change we might feel highly motivated, not motivated at all or somewhere in the middle.
Some changes we have personal control over and some we don’t.
Some changes can be deeply personal & if difficult, feeling motivated to move on is the last thing a person wants to do.
If the change you are experiencing is perceived by you as a difficult one, you could find yourself in a potentially destructive place.
THE CHANGE DANGER ZONE!
In denial it’s happening
Angry
Defensive
Blaming others
Playing ‘The Victim’
Rejecting everything & everyone
Panicking
Fearful
Argumentative
Insecure
Uncommunicative
You are not alone
These are mechanisms that many of us use to initially deal with our current situation. Of course, I’m not saying they are useful mechanisms. They can be physically and mentally exhausting!
It’s important to identify them and begin to understand why you are feeling this way.
You might believe you need some time in this space before you can make some sense of it. Bear in mind though, the longer you spend in this place, the more likely you are to create a prolonged difficult time for yourself and those around you.
And for those on the outside looking in at this person experiencing the change danger zone, ask yourself, is this actually a cry for support & a listening ear, even if you personally can't do anything to help them through the change?
Take steps to get back on track
So back to you... take a breath, step back, take ownership & ask yourself…
What concerns me about this change personally &/or professionally?
Write the concerns down in statements & be honest! Seeing your concerns are more powerful than just having them in your head.
Now ask yourself… Of all the concerns I have, what one’s do I have influence over?
Circle them.
Take Control
With some clarity now on what can actually be influenced by you, there is an opportunity to take control of the situation.
N.B. If you end up with nothing that can be influenced in this situation then it’s time to consider alternatives, if you are not happy to accept what the future potentially holds.
Keep focused on what YOU CAN DO rather than what you can’t.
So back to taking control…
Assuming you have circled some things you believe can be influenced, start putting a plan of action together and try some things out.
Remember, focus on what YOU CAN DO rather than what you can’t.
You may find that not everything works, however keep trying things, as this is part of making change work for you and crucially your acceptance of it.
This process can help you to move forward, move on and commit to the future.
You'll also be in a stronger position to work with other changes if you see difficulties in the future.
If you catch yourself heading back to The Change Danger Zone, remind yourself that nothing good can come out of those thoughts & feelings.
Don't look back
Trust yourself to make the right decisions for you and if that’s too difficult right now, seek out some independent & confidential support along the way.
So I haven’t specifically mentioned motivation, well you’re acting it out now by taking positive steps towards managing this change, rather than dwelling in the danger zone!
And finally, as all good things come in three’s (apparently!)…
Focus on what YOU CAN DO rather than what you can’t.
Good Luck.
With acknowledgement to..
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