The Calm Coach - No No No No No No No No No No No No No No November

What or who are you saying 'No' to this month?

For some, It can be hard to say this word, especially if it feels there is an emotional connection, a perceived urgency or guilt on the recipients part, for example.

Questions to consider before you even get to this type of conversation...

What are my priorities in life?

(Helps you to be clear about what you are prepared to say 'yes' and 'no' to)

How does this fit in with what is important to me?

(Are your needs being met as much as the requester and if not, are you happy to forego them on this occasion?)

What will I need to sacrifice if I say 'yes'?

(Are you giving up things which are important?)

What makes this really important for the person asking?

(Is the recipient justified in requesting your support?)

What 'low risk environments' can I practice saying 'no'?

(The sooner you start, the easier saying 'no' becomes)

How is saying 'yes' all the time affecting my health/relationships...?

(An opportunity to stop and see the reality of the situation, then do something about it!)

Who am I responsible for?

( Do I really need to answer this?!)

And in the moment, what can you do?

Do you need to answer straight away?

Thank the person for thinking of you, even if you are not able to help this time.

Remind yourself that your time is just as valuable as theirs.

If you say 'yes' now, will there be some benefit to you doing so?

Is there a compromise/alternative to be had?

It's your job to say 'no' in a kind and direct way...you'll be respected for it, if not now then in the future...it's called being assertive.

Christmas is coming....

What do you ACTUALLY want to do this Christmas and why aren't you doing it?

If you are saying 'yes' when you mean 'no', is your thinking turning into unhealthy responsibility?

By unhealthy I mean guilt and resentment.

STOP!

How are you fulfilling your healthy responsibilities...what you actually want and need for this Christmas?

Maybe you've committed to something you don't want to do already this year.

So here is an early goal for 2026...

What does a healthy Christmas look like for you next year?

Ian's tip - Rather than putting all your family eggs into 1 Christmas basket, make the most of the whole year, on your terms. In other words, create your own special events with your family throughout the year, when all of you have the time...AND the inclination!

See you in December