Reflective Coaching - Are You Leaking?

I know, I know, not the most pleasant question to start the new year, but hopefully it got your attention!

Ask yourself...Why am I not getting the results I hoped for?

at Interview

In your relationships

in Leadership

with your colleagues or friends

etc etc

Have you thought about what you may be 'leaking'?.

What negative signs are you giving off which you think you're hiding well but others can see straight through you! (Even if they don't tell you!!)

This could be a moment in time to take a step back and get yourself into a good place before interacting again.

Perhaps you are...

stressed?

angry?

irrational?

upset?

feeling low inside?

trying to be all things to all people?

not stopping to understand why things are not going your way?

Now take a moment and ask yourself...

• Why are things not turning out the way I had hoped?

• What am I doing/saying which could be getting in the way?

• Where can I get some insight from which will be honest and I trust?

• Where can I go to reset my future, without judgement? (Maybe HERE?)

• When will I ask for support?

• Why is it important for me to do this now?

Past personal interview experience.

I remember interviewing for a role 3 times before I got the job...why didn't I get it the first time?

Interview 1 - Made the assumption the interviewer knew all about me, so didn't put in the effort required at the interview.

Interview 2 - I showed too much desperation to get the role, so gave fumbled and hurried answers to questions.

Interview 3 (2 years after the first one!) - Had taken the time in the interim to understand myself better and complete the prep I needed to do to demonstrate I was the right person for the job.

In hindsight, I 'leaked' fear, desperation, complacency and assumption.

I needed to do some work on myself first.

I went through the list (in pink) above.

I followed this with detailed prep for the role I really wanted, tapping into my strength of creativity to help bring the interview to life. Only then did I succeed.

(And even if I hadn't got the job on the third occasion, I know I came away having done my very best at the Interview).

Past personal relationship experience

It has sometimes been painful to look at my actions in hindsight and wonder what I was doing to myself at the time.

It put me in mind of one relationship where I decided to attempt to be all things to this person in order to be accepted & reduce anxiety of potential rejection from him and those around him.

My Partner hadn't asked me to do this, but in my head I deemed it necessary, after all they were somewhat younger than me. (My reasoning anyway).

The truth took some time to come out and when it did, the end result was much more difficult than if I had just been honest with myself in the first instance.

In other words the leak I hoped I was hiding well became a gushing waterfall!

Putting unnecessary perceived pressure on myself, when I could have sought support might have made things easier. Sometimes though, love gets in the way of everything!

We know ourselves better than anyone else.

The sooner we can identify & plug unwanted leaks the sooner we will stop sinking.

The support you need might just be HERE.