Sleeve Notes
Why see and say the negative word/s, when you can find the positive, if you just adjust your thinking a bit.
There are words we use or think about that in the first instance can typically be seen as negative, but dig a little deeper and you will find they can create a really positive experience.
Looking at them from a different perspective will ultimately be good for yourself and others involved.
I have no doubt I've thought about the following as negative scenario's myself, perhaps without even realising it.
Through the work I do as a Coach, I have raised my own awareness of this, along with the awareness of the clients I work with.
Selected Playlist - Word Up!
Track 1 - Conflict
How do you know it's going to be conflicting until you start talking to one another?
Resolution is what you are looking for. It's a much kinder word for yourself and illicits positive, solution driven communication.
Keep to the facts, the impact it's having on you and how it makes you feel. No one can argue with that!
Conflict resolution will help to reduce the continued resentment you are likely to feel if you leave it to fester in your mind.
Self coaching - What solutions can I offer once I've described the situation?
Track 2 - Feedback
This could be praise and praise alone.
Even if it is something more challenging, choose the time and environment carefully and stick with the facts and impacts, so it doesn't turn into unnecessary conflict.
Bear in mind, even if it's positive feedback, think about where the person would prefer to receive it, i.e. publicly or privately.
Self coaching - How does this person prefer to receive feedback?
Track 3 - Problems
We could create so many!
How about focusing on solutions instead?
The world is full of problems so take this opportunity to think about what you can and will do, what you have influence and control over. Let go of the things you can do nothing about. You are wasting your valuable time and energy.
Self coaching - How can I make a positive difference to this situation?
Track 4 - Wrong
We could say so much about our woes, what about what's right in our life?
Perspective is a great leveller. Think about others who are not as fortunate as you, and yes, if you are reading this there IS someone who is having it tougher than you.
You can do something to turn your wrong into your right. Try to focus on a realistic, positive first step that doesn't feel overwhelming.
I know...it may be difficult for you just now. How about challenging and holding yourself accountable, one day at a time, one step at a time and at a pace that works for you.
Reach out to others and get it off your chest.
Tell yourself and your confidante the first positive step you are going to take which will make things better for you.
Telling someone else will help with accountability.
Make time to reflect with your confidante on what you have achieved and how far you have come - celebrate your 'wins'...it's important!
Self coaching - What one thing will I do today to make life a little better for me?
Track 5 - I don't have time
Is this now, ever or never??!!
Perhaps you could say, I know this is important to you and I will create time & space for us in the coming hours, days, weeks...month.
There's nothing like a bit of dismissal to make the other person feel worthless, so a bit of care around language will make all the difference.
Self coaching - What does this person need from me, so they know I am taking them seriously?
Track 6 - I will tolerate it
How about, what do you accept/not accept?
At least others know where you stand, even if they don't agree with you.
If you are going to put up with something, I would suggest you don't really want to accept it.
Think about what you stand for, what are your values and beliefs?
Be open to having your beliefs respectfully challenged.
Consider what you have made assumptions about and the real facts of the matter.
Talk to the people and/or revisit the situations you are tolerating to help you evaluate how you really feel.
Self coaching - What have I come to accept about this person/situation?
The Download
I wonder...can you catch your negativity before it starts to spiral?
It's not always easy and we don't always realise we are doing it, especially if there is no one around us.
What about if we are mindful enough that we can?
For instance, part of your conscious has been 'reserved' to keep an eye out for any negative thoughts/feelings and words which spring to mind, you check yourself, pause and replace this with positive energy & language.
Sounds so simple, doesn't it?
Well actually it's more achievable than you might think, as long as you don't try to solve the worlds and your problems all at once!
Even if you catch yourself just once out of the five times you have said something negative today, that's a win.
How about catching yourself twice tomorrow?
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