Coaching Comment - I can sing a rainbow, but can I wear it?

ian37712
3 hours ago
3 min read

For those of a certain age, you may be familiar with this song from a certain Liverpudlian songstress.

Some of you may be less familiar, indeed uncomfortable with seeing men in bright colours!

I test this theory regularly by wearing colours that 'society' still tells us are not really for men. And if you are scratching your head thinking, really...I hadn't given it a thought...thank you!

I'm just talking about a colour, nothing more 'controversial' than this, but it still seems to cause a stir from time to time.

What's going on?

As a whole, society can't seem to get away from stereotypes...

The pink for girls and blue for boys scenario.
Separate greeting cards for male and female.
Boys toys and girls toys.
A plethora of blazing colour clothes in the ladies section and muted colour in the mens.

It hasn't always been like this, in clothing for example...

From the 18th Century to the early 20th Century, Pink was associated with masculinity, strength, decisiveness and power.

Someone, somewhere decided in the 50's (reported to be in the United States) this colour was weak & feminine (I don't see how those two things go together!!??) and that was it...the world of men in pink has been trying to recover ever since.

Having lived through the seventies and eighties as a teenager and young man, my gender & indeed 'my audience'seemed to be braver then. From Disco to Punk to New Romantics & the 'Gender Bender' era, what was then a supposedly sleepy city called Norwich appeared to applaud difference.

It could be, I cared and was affected less by what people thought when I was younger and pre-internet.

I had girls toys and I had boys toys - Mum didn't make an issue of it.

When I went to live with my Aunt & Uncle, they did!

I've had both sides of the gender story, I turned out just fine and even stronger because I stopped letting other people rule my thoughts...eventually!

We've just about managed to get men wearing pink business/polo shirts with ease, but I can tell you, when I put my hot pink sweatshirt on, for every person that doesn't care there is another making silly comments behind my back, thinking I can't hear what they are saying!

(Even purples and lime greens don't get away unscathed!)

We may think we have freedom of choice, but how much does stereotyping restrict our thoughts and identity?

Social media can show us a lot of extremes.

Re-enforcing stereotypes to cause a stir and increase followers - gender, race, orientation etc

Flaunting anti-stereotypes to cause a stir and increase followers - gender, race, orientation etc

What about those somewhere in the middle, who want to make a smaller statement of their own identity, are not interested in being 'followed' but get caught up in all the noise of the extremes above...where is their platform?

No matter how much we think we have progressed, and in many ways we have of course, it appears many have become worn down when it comes to our own originality and creativity.

Are we being driven by social safety, conformity and fear of being different or ostracised?

Are we being told by media, retail, others to 'stay in our lane' or go right to the very edges of societal boundaries?

How can we challenge ourselves to be who we really want to be without making a great big song and dance about it?

Acknowledge any fear you have - it's valid

Acknowledge what you want and why it's important

Consider...

Why do other people's opinions matter when you're being true to yourself?
What is good/strong/positive... about your uniqueness?
How do you feel when you go from conformity to something more personally meaningful?
What is the worst that can happen?
(Enjoy being noticed rather than fading into the background. It shows you are confident in who you are!)
How/Why are you responsible for other people's behaviour?
What small creative step can you take to challenge stereotypes & yourself?