Victim or Victor?...YOU have the power!

Does the world owe you something?

Do people owe you something. (I'm not talking money here!)

Perhaps...

you owe it to yourself to understand why you are playing the 'Victim'.

you owe it to yourself to create your own empowerment without taking away others.

Recognise yourself in the headlines below?

'Victim' blames others for their life.

'Victim' gets defensive about everything.

'Victim' wallows in self pity and problems.

'Victim' wants sympathy from the 'crowd' gathered.

'Victim' has rigid thinking and won't accept views not aligned to theirs.

'Victim' enjoys their pessimistic label.

'Victim' wants everything to stay the same, believing change is pointless.

'Victim loves a headline without backing this up with factual information.

'Victim' prefers to live in a fictitious world which suits their fictitious life.

If you're honest with yourself, reasons you are playing the victim may be...

• A coping mechanism for personal trauma.

  
  

• Protection from perceived future failures.

  
  

• A way of staying in control and keeping power.

  
  

• A fear of what might be if you did, said or believed something different.

  
  

• To create a world or narrative which fits your fictitious, perceived controllable one.

  
  

• To mitigate the present/future, being less controllable than past 'rose coloured' glories.

  
  

• Having a single rigid narrative helps you to stay 'powerful' over others.

You could easily be a 'Victor' if you take one small step at a time to help manage potential anxieties and fear, while remaining in control, without inflicting your drama on others.

Try one of these...

• No one can control everything, but think about a different response to those you are 'fighting' against. How could you respond better to have a healthier dialogue with yourself and others?

  
  

• Focus on today, this week. The past is the past and the future is yet to be decided. You, however can choose to make a positive difference to someone else and indeed, yourself, right now.

  
  

• If someone thinks you are playing the 'Victim', help each other to set boundaries and understanding of each others views. Listen, be respectful. You don't have to agree on everything and you don't need to fall out because of it.

  
  

• Instead of asking "Why is this happening to me" ask yourself "What am I feeling?" and "How can I respond to this feeling in a positive way?"

  
  

• Instead of saying, "I'm overwhelmed" which assumes that's your life, add "currently" into this sentence. This small change in language will challenge your thinking to do something about it.

  
  

• Stop mixing with other 'Victims', if you can recognise them?!

  Talk with people who are solution driven and offer a different point of view. You'll get where you want to go much quicker!

  
  

• Feeling overwhelmed? Take a break and do something you really enjoy. You'll need to take a break, as playing the 'Victim' is much more exhausting than being the 'Victor'!