The difference between help and support is key to the coaching experience

I'm not here to help you!....this may sound rather rude, but it's true. My coaching role is to support you...and there IS a difference.

It is said that potential clients (particularly men) are reluctant to explore coaching because it's seen as a personal failure. It's only for broken people and society deems, men especially, need to fix everything themselves & in isolation.

Why is this the view of some?

I believe its because coaching is seen as HELP rather than SUPPORT.

I can relate to this, a long time ago, I was one of those people who mistook coaching as help.

Today, I can help myself to achieve many things and will ask an expert or knowledgeable person if I need advice on something. (Mentoring)

Sometimes though I have looked for longer term solutions, which requires me to run my life differently & for the better. The answers are in there somewhere, but I needed some support to explore my options, without telling me what I should do. The control still being in my hands, ultimately.

I wasn't broken, I didn't need fixing, I was positive about my future and ready to find out where life could take me.

Naturally I continue to have 121 coaching for myself when the time is right.

Examples of help (This is not coaching)

• For immediate focus with a hands on approach.

• Short term for completing a task and solving a problem.

• Seeking out expertise on a specific subject and getting the expert to show you.

  
  

Examples of support (This is coaching)

• Emotional, structural, motivational, challenging, accountable, non-judgemental,

• The creation of a confidential and safe environment.

• Building an honest contract with one another before sessions begin

• Longer term 121's, timed to suit the clients needs over a period of months.

• Empowering your independence & renewed confidence, taking back control of what works well for you to shape your future.

• From listening to your story, formulating incisive questions to unlock personal & professional goals which are important to you and you WILL take action on.

Conclusion

A good Coach will not...

tell you what to do.

judge you.

make you feel uncomfortable.

be your therapist or counsellor.

be your mentor/expert. (You are the expert of your own life.)

do most of the talking.

waste your time with unrealistic expectations.

A good Coach will...

make sure both have the 'chemistry' to work well together.

offer a flexible approach, checking in at the start of each session.

keep focus on the future, solutions & actions.

use tools to discover what is most important to the client.

offer a non-judgemental, confidential and safe environment to support trust and openness.

challenge and hold accountable, actions the client has decided are important to them.

give time and space to explore ideas, stretch & challenge thinking.

Final thoughts

Coaching is not about what's gone wrong (For example, therapists or counsellors can help work through problems).

Coaching will support you to focus on the positive things you already have (although may not realise!) in your tool box, which could shape an even better future for you.