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Now That's What I Call Coaching 2 - Empathy

Sleeve Notes -

I’m sure people think they are being helpful when they say, I know what you’re going through and that happened to me too. For some, that may be enough. Empathy gives us the opportunity to initially set our personal experience to one side and step into another persons shoes to experience their unique perspective.

Side 1 - Benefits

  • Greater connection to others.

  • Builds trust & rapport.

  • Helps us to control our own emotions while helping others.

  • Reduces our biases.

  • The greater our empathy, the more we can navigate  circumstances.              

  • Feeling good.

  • Empathy can resolve conflict before it happens.

  • Empathy helps us to be more understanding, in addition to offering support to others.             


Side 2 - Tips

  • Keep any questions open and helpful to them e.g. What, When, Where, How & Who.

  • In the first instance, shut up & listen…really listen.

  • Be comfortable with silence.

  • Show & tell your own vulnerability where & if helpful.

  • Stay open minded.

  • Think about your environment. Is it conducive for this conversation.

  • Ease in gently without being intrusive (See ‘Hits’)                          

  • Observe what others are saying without saying it.

Side 3 - Hits

  • I will share some of my own vulnerabilities, where, when and if appropriate, to build connection and trust.

  • I’ll give the person time and space to say everything they want to say, withholding any pre-conceptions and judgments, even if I find it challenging to do so.

  • If I am face to face, I’ll make sure the other person is happy to have physical touch (a hug), if the need arises.

  • I’ll ask, how can I be most helpful in this situation?

  • I will reflect back to the person what I have just heard, especially if I'm online, to show I am listening and invested in the conversation.

  • I will mirror their body/facial language, being extra mindful of this online.


Side 4 - One Hit Wonders

"I'll tell them all the things they can do that will make them feel better. It worked for me"

Challenge -

How do you know it will work for them?

What have you heard from the person that determines your advice will help them?

"I cried with them, I got stressed with them, I really involved myself"             

Challenge -

What do you think the other person took away from you doing this?

Who feels better now?


"I'll tell them i'm sorry and not to worry"             

Challenge -

What does empathy mean?

What has the person said they need from you?

The Download -

Understanding what the other person is going through while being objective and not losing yourself in the situation, together with providing support & comfort when someone is going through a difficult time, fosters healthier and more social connections.

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