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Motivation & Confidence - Improving Self Worth

Where do I start?

Sometimes it’s difficult to motivate yourself, especially if you don't feel great just now.

Thinking about what you are good at and what you have achieved builds confidence and confidence helps you feel motivated to achieve what you set out to do.

"Am I being big headed or arrogant?" (I've heard this a lot in my career as a Coach from clients who seem to believe what they do is not valuable in the world. "It's just what I do" they say)

No, you're not being the big I am.

Everyone has talents, abilities, skills...whatever you want to call them. It might just take longer to tease them out of the more humble or less confident among us!

OK, so if I must talk about what I do well, how do I go about it?

This exercise is about celebrating your successes & being proud of them, however insignificant YOU might think they are.

The following is also useful when you are considering what to put in a CV or to say at an interview. Remember, an Interviewer WANTS to hear what you do well or how you have overcome challenges…SOLUTIONS, not problems.

Try this one out for yourself…

  1. My greatest achievement is…

  2. Something I’m good at is…

  3. I have helped others by…

  4. The best decision I have ever made is…

  5. People think I’m good at…

  6. Something I have learnt to do recently is…

  7. My proudest moment has been…

  8. The most difficult thing I’ve had to do is…

If you find the above too difficult, in the first instance, you could also ask trusted colleagues/friends or family to do something similar (example below) as they are likely to remember things that you don’t, or things that have been dismissed by you as ‘That’s just what I do’.

Give these questions to someone you trust & know well…

  1. What are my greatest strengths?

  2. How do I support you?

  3. What am I good at that I take for granted?

  4. How do I bring out the best in you & others?

  5. What do you value about our relationship the most?

Ask them to reflect on the questions, write down their answers and share with you privately.

Keep the answers somewhere safe to remind yourself of what you do well.

You may think of some other questions that would be helpful, keeping in mind they are all in service of showcasing what you do well.

Sometimes it's easier for individuals to hear from others what they do well, rather than write their own thoughts down. It feels more comfortable sharing this kind of evidence with say, a Line Manager.

It's not embarrassing, it's powerful!

In any event, I recommend you do BOTH of the above exercises, especially if you find talking about your achievements a challenge or awkward. The more you feel comfortable with talking about what you do well & how you have/will overcome challenges ,in the appropriate environment, the more you understand the positive difference you make to others and indeed your self worth.

Oh and if someone compliments what you do, say "Thank you, I appreciate that", accepting it will be much more powerful than dismissing it totally.

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