10 ways to have better conversations with the one you love

If you can recognise who you are and what you might need to do from the 10 points below, that's the beginning of potentially doing something better.

1. Listen to understand, avoid trying to fix things or find a solution. (They may not want one...listening is enough)

   
   

2. You've asked a question like "What would you like to happen now?" Stay calm and quiet while listening to and processing their response.

   
   

3. State the impact on you, not what they need to do...that will be up to them.

   
   

4. Be clear and factual, don't bore with too much detail to make your point.

   
   

5. Acknowledge feelings, even if they appear to be different from the facts.

   
   

6. Stay focused on the current conversation.

   
   

7. Learn something about yourself from the conversation and do better next time.

   
   

8. Keep an eye on the other persons body language. Are they 'open' or 'closed' to this discussion? Pause and check if necessary.

   
   

9. Don't assume everything is done and dusted post conversation - check in with one another.

   
   

10. AND - Before you do anything, consider how/where/when the other person likes to receive information. This will get the conversation off on the right foot.

I could load up another 10 here...but I won't bore you! ;-)

Whether you've known your partner for 6 weeks or 60 years, we can all check in regularly with them to make sure the relationship is not being taken for granted.

If you're reading this and thinking I or they can't be bothered, perhaps you are with the wrong person? (Hopefully not for 60 years!)